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The Day I Realized I Had to “Save” My Dad: The Toxic Burden of Evangelism in High Control Religion
Believing that someone I loved could be eternally damned — and that it was my responsibility to prevent it — was an immense emotional weight. This toxic message instilled in me a sense of hyper-responsibility for others, which (unfortunately) didn't just magically disappear…
How I’m Cultivating Joy as a Religious Trauma Survivor (While Living Under a Government That Reflects the High-Control Religion I Escaped)
Last weekend I was at a friend’s house in San Diego and noticed a new piece of decor on one of the shelves in their office…
God’s Will or Spiritual Manipulation? A Personal Story From a Religious Trauma Therapist
When I was in my mid 20s (and still very much in high control religion), I worked as a program staffer at a Christian retreat center in northern Wisconsin.
2024 Wrapped: 5 Client Wins I Am Celebrating as a Religious Trauma Therapist
Well, here we are almost to the end of 2024, and what a rollercoaster of a year it’s been. If your year has been anything like mine, it’s been a wild ride of highs and lows and everything in between…
Deck the Halls with Boundaries and Self-Care: 12 Days of Healing for Religious Trauma Survivors During the Holidays
The holiday season can be uniquely challenging for survivors of religious trauma and spiritual abuse. For many, December brings up complex feelings tied to faith, family, and beliefs or traditions that have been harmful.
Navigating the Holidays After Faith Deconstruction: A Religious Trauma Therapist’s Perspective on Gratitude
A couple weeks ago my wife and I boarded a plane to Denver, CO to join 11 other adults, 2 kids, and 1 canine for the 2nd biennial Friendsgiving weekend…
Processing the 2024 Election: Thoughts from a Religious Trauma Therapist
Here we are, post-2024 presidential election. If you’re feeling a lot right now, you’re definitely not alone. I’m hearing from so many people who are flooded with all kinds of emotions, from anxiety to shock to rage to something that just feels hard to name…
Queer Religious Trauma Therapist Stares Down Internalized Shame in the Closet
Struggling with self-image after high-control religion? You’re not alone. Ditching modesty and shame-based teachings can be tough. Here, I share some recent experiences related to fashion and personal style. Ready to unpack religious trauma? Reach out to get started.
A Religious Trauma Therapist Stares Down Internalized Shame at…the Library??
Ever find yourself spiraling into self-blame over a simple everyday experience? You're not alone. Dive into my recent experience at the library to uncover how internalized shame from high control religion can sneak into everyday moments and learn ways to combat it.
A Religious Trauma Therapist Walks Into a Nude Sauna…
Sounds like the start of a joke, right? That’s what I thought when I wrote the title for this week’s blog post (i.e. “A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar…”). For those of you that follow me on Instagram, you know that I recently was on vacation…
Four Ways a Therapist Can Help You Heal From Religious Trauma
If the pain, depression, and anxiety related to your religious trauma have been steering the ship for awhile, it can be difficult to imagine how anything could help…
Happy Pride Month! Thoughts From A Queer-Identifying Religious Trauma Therapist
As we celebrate this significant time of the year, I wanted to share some thoughts and reflections from my perspective as a queer-identifying religious trauma therapist…
Making New Friends After Leaving High Control Religion
Making new friends after leaving your faith community is HARD. Churches are often marketed as second families, and the longer you spend in a faith community, the deeper those familial bonds and attachments grow. The loss of that community…
Embracing Emotions After Leaving High Control Religion: A Healing Journey
Years ago when I was still in high control religion, I remember being at a worship gathering that I was involved in (yes, former worship leader here!) where a time of intercessory prayer had started…
Four Signs You Experienced Religious Trauma (and aren’t just overreacting)
Learn about religious trauma symptoms like triggered reactions, internalized shame, avoidance of pleasure, and constant vigilance against sin.
Feeling Angry About Being Harmed in Religion? Good!
I remember from my time in conservative evangelicalism that anger was categorized as a sin, and often religious texts were used to back up that belief. Anger was described as being bad and wrong…
Three Ways Purity Culture May Still Be Affecting You
If you grew up in high control religion, you likely heard messages about sexual purity, gender roles, and what defines holiness when it comes to sex, dating, and relationships…
Center Yourself in Your Story
Winter greetings from San Diego! I hope you have been having a gentle January. It is raining here today, and the power is out – perfect conditions for writing a blog post 🙂 I wanted to dive into a concept that resonated with some people…
Setting Intentions for the New Year
Well, it’s the first week of 2024 and the holiday season is officially behind us! (Confession, though – I still have the Christmas tree and decorations up… still not quite ready to “un-Christmas” our space). A lot of us are letting out a big exhale.…
A Religious Trauma Survivor’s Guide To Navigating The Holidays
Deck The Halls With Tons Of Triggers, Fa-La-La-La-La, La-La-La-La… It’s finally sweater weather! The days are getting shorter, and even here in…