2024 Wrapped: 5 Client Wins I Am Celebrating as a Religious Trauma Therapist
Well, here we are almost to the end of 2024, and what a rollercoaster of a year it’s been. If your year has been anything like mine, it’s been a wild ride of highs and lows and everything in between:
Hiking in the Dolomites…
…(a bucket list adventure for me) was incredible to experience.
An epic Friendsgiving…
…reminded me how important it is to prioritize friendships.
Finding community in a group of pickleball players has been incredibly life giving!
But the results of the US presidential election? Worsening inequalities? Shootings? Natural disasters? Ongoing wars? Pretty terrible…
It is easy to see the pain, suffering, and division in the world and conclude that there is no hope, everything sucks, and people are assholes. I do experience these feelings at times when I observe the state of the world. But, sometimes in my line of work, I get a front row seat to the opposite - witnessing growth, change, transformation, and healing; feeling hope that with the right support things can and do get better; that people are good and kind (and if they’re not, there are usually valid reasons - defenses, woundings, trauma, etc.).
In light of that, as I reflect on the last 12 months, I want to highlight 5 client wins that I have had the privilege of witnessing and cheering on time and again in 2024. Victories that some people may view as small or inconsequential, but are actually quite a BFD. Here we go!
Client wins:
1. Setting boundaries for the first time
For many who grew up in high control religion, it was expected that you would always say “yes” to a service opportunity, even if it meant sacrificing your own comfort, peace, needs, or safety. On more than one occasion this year, I witnessed clients saying no for the first time when asked to volunteer their time and energy when they were already depleted, saying no to jobs that were unsustainable and/or didn’t pay enough, and saying no to situations that made them uncomfortable.
2. Speaking up about their needs
Having needs in many religious environments is equated to being selfish and caring more about yourself than those around you, which is considered sinful and contrary to what God wants. In 2024, I experienced more than a few clients clearly and directly stating their needs. For some it meant talking to their partner about needing them to more equally share the work of maintaining a household. For others it meant communicating to a friend that they were hurt by something they said and how they could repair it. For others still, it meant asking for a raise or a promotion.
3. Transforming self-judgment into curiosity
Another shift I witnessed this year was clients learning to quiet their harsh inner critic and approach themselves with curiosity. For many, self-judgment has been deeply ingrained from a lifetime of being told they were inherently sinful or depraved. I saw clients pause when they would normally spiral into self-criticism, asking themselves questions like, “What’s really going on here?” Instead of tearing themselves apart for a mistake or a perceived shortcoming, they began to wonder if their reaction was rooted in past trauma or unmet needs. Watching them take this gentler, more compassionate approach toward themselves has been incredibly inspiring.
4. Becoming aware of invisible forces at play
Throughout the year I also had the privilege of helping clients uncover and understand the invisible forces shaping their behaviors and emotions. For some, it was recognizing how nervous system dysregulation was contributing to their difficulty in navigating triggering situations. For others, it was understanding how unspoken family rules and implicitly taught belief systems kept them stuck in cycles of shame or people-pleasing. These forces are often so subtle and deeply ingrained that they can feel like just the way things are. Or in the words of Carl Jung, “they will drive your life and you will call it fate.” Seeing clients shine a light on these forces, name them, and learn how to change them or work with them has been pretty amazing.
5. Feeling their feelings for the first time
Perhaps one of the most profound wins I’ve witnessed this year is clients allowing themselves to feel their feelings—really feel them—for the first time. For so many survivors of high-control religion, emotions were either labeled as sinful or dismissed as untrustworthy. Over time, this leads to a disconnection from feelings altogether, leaving someone in a numb or muted existence. In 2024, I saw clients cry without apologizing, express anger without shutting it down, and feel joy without questioning whether they deserved it. These moments, as simple as they sound, were monumental. They were acts of embodiment, integration, and reconnection with self.
Looking Ahead…
As I reflect on these wins, I’m struck by how deeply personal and courageous each one is. Healing from religious trauma isn’t linear or easy—it’s messy, uncomfortable, and often takes you into uncharted territory. But what I’ve seen this year confirms again for me that healing is also possible, and the progress is worth celebrating, no matter how small it might seem on the surface.
If you’re still in the thick of it, know this: you are not alone, and there is hope. Here’s to more wins, more growth, and more healing in 2025. If you’re ready to begin or continue this journey, I’d be honored to support you. Reach out today for a free consultation.