Reclaiming Your Body After Purity Culture: Learning to Feel at Home in Yourself
Struggling to Feel at Home in Your Body After Purity Culture? You're Not Alone.
If you grew up in purity culture like I did, you were likely taught that your body wasn’t really yours. It was something to control, cover up, and constantly monitor and police. You may have heard messages like:
“Your body is a stumbling block.”
“Desire is sinful and selfish.”
“Your worth is tied to your purity.”
These weren’t just rules—they shaped the way you saw yourself. And even if you have since mentally rejected those beliefs, they can leave deep imprints. Maybe you still struggle with body image, intimacy, or trusting your own desires. Maybe you feel guilty wearing certain clothes or uncomfortable experiencing pleasure in any form.
If any of this resonates, please hear me: You are not broken. The shame and disconnection you feel aren’t reflections of who you are—they’re echoes of what you were taught.
The good news? Healing is possible. You can unlearn the shame, reconnect with your body, and build a new relationship with yourself—one based on trust, self-compassion, and freedom. Let’s talk about how.
How Purity Culture Taught You to Disconnect from Your Body
Purity culture didn’t just dictate rules about sex—it fundamentally shaped how you related to your body. Here are some of the core messages you might have internalized:
Your body is dangerous. You were told to dress modestly, avoid tempting others, and take responsibility for how others viewed you.
Desire is bad. Attraction, pleasure, and even feeling good in your own skin were framed as sinful or risky.
Your worth is tied to "purity." You were taught that sexual experiences (or even thoughts) could permanently damage you and separate you from God.
Ignoring your body is the right thing to do. Any physical desires, discomfort, or needs were to be suppressed, not explored.
Even if you no longer believe these things, your body remembers. It remembers the fear, the shame, the disconnection. And it makes sense that now even when you no longer align with the beliefs and rules your faith community taught you, you might struggle with trusting yourself, your feelings, and your body.
Signs You Might Still Be Carrying Purity Culture’s Impact
Even if you've left purity culture behind, its effects can still show up in unexpected ways:
Feeling disconnected from your body. You might struggle to notice hunger cues, exhaustion, or physical discomfort because you were taught to ignore bodily signals.
Guilt or shame around intimacy. Even in a safe, loving relationship, a part of you might feel like you’re doing something “wrong.”
Second-guessing your desires. Whether it’s attraction, clothing choices, or simple pleasures, you might find yourself thinking, Is this okay? Is this selfish? Will this lead me down a path that makes me bad somehow?
Struggling to feel present in your body. Certain clothes, physical sensations, or even looking at yourself in the mirror might make you feel disconnected or uncomfortable.
Sound familiar? If so, please remember that nothing is wrong with you. Let’s get into how to begin healing from purity culture and religious trauma.
How to Reconnect with Your Body After Purity Culture
1. Start with Self-Compassion
Healing from purity culture takes time, and shame doesn’t disappear overnight. Instead of criticizing yourself for struggling, try offering yourself grace:
💛 “It makes sense that I feel this way, given what I was taught.”
💛 “I am allowed to take my time in healing.”
💛 “I deserve to feel safe and at home in my body.”
Shame is purity culture’s legacy—self-compassion is how you break free from it.
2. Practice Body Awareness in Small Ways
Since purity culture taught you to disconnect from your body, healing means gently learning to listen again. This doesn’t have to be about sexuality—start small. Try:
👉 Stretching or gentle movement—not to “fix” anything, just to notice how your body feels.
👉 Deep breathing—taking slow, intentional breaths and noticing how they feel.
👉 Body scans—checking in with yourself: Where am I holding tension? What feels good?
No pressure, no expectations—just gentle awareness.
3. Reclaim Pleasure in Everyday Life
Purity culture framed pleasure as dangerous, but pleasure is a human experience—it’s part of being alive. And it’s not just sexual pleasure—any kind of pleasure.
Start noticing and allowing yourself to enjoy things like:
✨ The warmth of the sun on your skin.
✨ The feeling of a cozy blanket.
✨ The taste of a really good meal.
✨ The sound of your favorite music.
Pleasure isn’t sinful—it’s part of being human.
4. Challenge Old Modesty Rules
Even if you no longer believe in "modesty culture," its impact can stick around. Do you feel self-conscious wearing certain clothes? Do you worry about “making others stumble”?
If it feels safe, experiment with wearing something just for you. Not to rebel. Not to prove anything. Just because you want to.
And when those old feelings creep up, gently remind yourself:
I am allowed to take up space. My body is not a problem to be fixed.
5. Find Supportive People Who Understand
Healing from purity culture is so much easier when you don’t have to do it alone. Whether it’s a therapist who specializes in religious trauma, a supportive friend, or an online community—having people who get it makes all the difference.
You deserve to be surrounded by people who affirm your growth and healing.
Healing Is a Journey—Be Patient with Yourself
Reconnecting with your body after purity culture isn’t about flipping a switch and suddenly feeling free. It’s about small, consistent acts of self-trust. It’s about reminding yourself, over and over again:
💛 “I am allowed to feel safe in my body.”
💛 “I am allowed to enjoy life.”
💛 “I am allowed to exist fully as myself.”
Some days, you’ll feel like you’ve made progress. Other days, old shame will creep back in. That’s normal. Healing isn’t linear, but it is possible.
You deserve to feel at home in your own skin. And step by step, you will get there.
Begin Religious Trauma Therapy in California Today
If this post resonates, I would love to support you.
Religious trauma therapy can help you rebuild your life after leaving high-control religion. Whether you’re in San Diego, Los Angeles, or anywhere in California, online therapy makes it easier than ever to access the help you deserve.
If you’re ready to start healing, reach out below to request a free 15-minute consultation. You don’t have to do this alone.