(It’s Okay If Gratitude Is Not One Of Them!)

Well, here we are already halfway through November – how on earth did that happen?? Temps are dropping, daylight savings has ended, the time for embracing darkness and hygge has begun…

One thing I see a lot in my work with people who are healing from religious trauma and spiritual abuse or who are deconstructing their faith is a pervasive feeling of loneliness and isolation, as well as the question of “what now?”

When I was thinking about what I would write for a blog post on religious trauma this week, I realized that my own personal experience with it is just that – my own unique experience…

As I was thinking about what to write for this week’s blog post, I thought it might be helpful to take a step back and give a bird’s eye view of some common things that people often need to address or relearn during their journey of healing from religious trauma.

As a therapist who works with survivors of religious trauma, and as a queer person who grew up in conservative Christianity, I have seen the widespread and harmful impact of purity culture in the lives of queer individuals. Let’s dive in…

It does not take a lot of mental gymnastics to understand that growing up in conservative religious communities as a queer person creates all sorts of challenges, struggles, disconnection, and pain. When your identity or who you love has to be kept a secret in order to belong…

If you have attended an evangelical church in your lifetime, you have probably encountered the doctrine of original sin. Sermons, hymns, worship songs, and prayers are often based on this teaching (i.e. the famous hymn with the line “…that saved a wretch like me…”).

If you have been a part of a high control or rigid religious community, you have probably encountered some harmful messaging about emotions. This can make it quite problematic to experience the full range of human feelings within these contexts!

If you were like me and grew up in a conservative evangelical church, you most likely were tasked with something very important – finding God’s will. This search was woven into most decisions you made – who you dated, where you went to college, what major to study, who you married…

Have you ever been sitting in the pew at church and started to feel uneasy because something that was said from the pulpit didn’t sit right with you? Have you ever been reading your Bible and started questioning what you had been told certain verses meant?